Arnold's Counseling Services

Andrew Lazzara

P.S. 118 won’t be the same without good ol’ Arnold. This kind-hearted, football headed guy decided that it was time to open up shop doing what he does best…meddling in other people’s problems. His counsel is sought out far and wide amongst young and old. He accepts payment in bottle caps, Yahoo sodas, and obnoxiously small hats.

Snow White’s Hard Cider

Lyndsay Molloy - Guest Designer

After being struck by lightening the witch has risen from her death and seeks out revenge. She cursed all the apples in the land and brewed them into an irresistible cider with effects of sleepiness and so much more. Drink a little bit of this cider and you’ll find yourself on the floor.

Curious George Banana Stand

Joe Butera

In a lesson of responsibility, the man with the yellow hat encouraged Curious George to stop monkeying around and get a job. Curious George only knew how to do one thing very well, eat bananas. George wanted to share his passion for bananas with others from the big city so he opened his very first banana stand. He hopes someday there will be a banana stand on every corner but for that to happen he would have to stop eating all his inventory.

SGT. Little Munitions Co.

Eric Small

Teased his entire life for saying the sky was falling, Chicken Little had a tough time of things growing up. He decided to take matters into his own hands and joined the military. Sgt. Little now has the power to make the sky fall upon his enemies.

Cap'N Crunch Boat Tours

Andrew Lazzara

Since making his debut nearly half of a century ago, Cpt. Crunch decided to put aside the sugary squares in search for an adventure among the seven seas. To fund such an expedition, he had the brilliant idea of offering boat tours. So far business has been steady, however, lactose-intolerant individuals may want to remain shore-side.

Batman Clandestine Services

Joe Butera

Tough times fell upon Gotham City, in recent years, forcing the crime rate through the roof. After many years of tirelessly fighting crime on the ominously dark streets, Batman could no longer keep the people of Gotham City safe without some help. Although, finding adequate candidates to fight by his side was more challenging than he thought so he launched Batman Clandestine Services where he personally trains his students in the depths of his bat cave, preparing them to combat the evil that walks in the shadows.

Wolverine Cigar Company

Eric Small

When he isn't tearing into bad guys (or good guys, for that matter), Wolverine likes to relax a little. Between bouts of epic mutant violence, he flies down to Cuba and hand rolls cigars on the beach. It's so therapeutic, that he often rolls too many and has extras when he returns stateside. Out of this surplus the Wolverine Cigar Company was born. Cuban cigars may be illegal back home, but I haven't seen a customs officer try and stop him yet.

Bicycle Repairs By Elliot

Andrew Lazzara

It didn’t take long for Elliot to realize he was on to something when his bike initially took flight. So much so that when he made his descent back to earth, he began tinkering with his friends bikes to see if they could fly too. While Elliot couldn’t make them airborne, he did add a mean spoke card to their back tire.

Aladdin's Quality Gold Polish

Ryan Magalhaes - Guest Designer

After Aladdin freed Genie, unaware of the tarnish bestowed by years of wishing, the genie had a wish of his own… Or a penance rather! Aladdin now banished to polishing the Genie’s former resting place, until the greasy remnants of his fingerprints are wiped cleaned and aseptic. Solemnly Aladdin sits, chained to a canister of gold polish and a lamp, coveting for fourth wish— a maid.

Marvins Cleaning Services

Joe Butera

After numerous attempts to destroy Earth for obstructing his view of Venus, Marvin the Martian tired of his failed endeavors and traded in his Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator for a new way of life. Not being very skilled in anything other than world destruction, Marvin used his head to imagine a life in the blue collar industry of cleaning homes and businesses. Being quiet spoken, it ended up as a perfect fit for Marvin and now he is making spaces so clean it’s out of this world.

Le Pew Perfume

Joe Flores - Guest Designer

Frustrated with women running away from him, Pepe came up with his own line of perfume. It is a signature blend of Pepe’s natural scent mixed with undertones of Lilac. Now he’s not smothering women; women are smothering him and its all thanks to his perfume, Le Pew.

RV Repairs By Dale

Andrew Lazzara

There’s nothing else that Dale Horvath loves more than his RV. So much so that he wants others to enjoy the same luxury. With brand-new RV’s being in short supply during the zombie apocalypse, he took it upon himself to fix up the old ones. The only problem is that non-flesh-eating customers are hard to come by.

Hatter's Tea Company

Eric Small

The Mad Hatter's tea parties have gained recognition far and wide as the best around. People have been trying to get their hands on his special blend for years. Well folks, here it is, available to the public!

Peter Parker Photography

Joe Butera

Peter Parker found his calling at a young age but sadly, a secret life of fighting crime in New York doesn’t pay the bills. Behind on rent and close to eviction he decided to put what little money he had left into launching Peter Parker Photography. By combining his skills he found a way to guarantee his clients the perfect shot every time which continues to bring him much success.

Ariel's Bait Shop

Andrew Lazzara

It’s been quite awhile since Ariel’s debut on the silver screen and let’s just say getting work nowadays is hard to come by. Kids just don’t have the same awe and wonder for marine life like they used to. Using her knowledge of the sea and what her foes like to eat, she decided to open up a local bait shop. This way she can make an honest day’s wage, and get rid of those some pesky sea life at the same time…that means you, Ursula.

Bumble Light Co.

Eric Small

The elves of Christmastown are vertically challenged. This means that decorating their houses and oversized Christmas trees was a task better suited to a taller individual... Someone like a certain Bumble looking for work.

Grinch Chimney Holiday Service

Joe Butera

Up upon the mountain top, high above Whoville, The Grinch who stole Christmas was admiring his new skill. After his tireless efforts of trying to stop Christmas from coming, He welcomes the feast and he welcomes the drumming. He started a new business that opens this year, That he hopes will capitalize from this holiday cheer. “Clean it out for the holidays” is how the slogan goes. If you go with the Grinch your chimney will smell like a rose. But “Beware,” says the Whos, that are skeptical of him. They say he steals presents along with the tree and its trim. You can hire the Grinch at a very low cost, But heed the Whos warnings, because some of your items may get lost.

Frosty's Residential Heating Services

Andrew Lazzara

While winter may be fast approaching, there is not enough snow on the ground for poor ol’ Frosty to make a decent living. So Frosty thought it’d be a wise decision to get into the heating business—fixing furnaces, installing fireplaces, and such. Turns out his customers aren’t too fond of his work…let’s just say that projects rarely get completed.

Kong's Window Washing Service

Eric Small

After the mess he had caused in the heart of New York, King Kong decided to monkey up and get to cleaning. He enjoyed it so much that he decided to make a career of it. With his climbing skill and long reach, Kong makes the perfect skyscraper cleaner!

Little Bo Peep Show

Shannon Goins

What becomes of the broken hearted? Well, it isn't a pretty story - when Little Bo Peep lost her sheep, she was never the same again. Heart hardened and abandoned, she left the field and headed to the city. Now she's looking for love in all the wrong places and shaking what her mama gave her.

Nemo's Fish Fry

Joe Butera

You’ve probably all seen the ending of Pixar’s Finding Nemo, but what they don’t show you is Nemo’s struggle to reintegrate back into society – he was a changed fish. After many sleepless nights, Nemo still couldn’t let go of the torture inflicted upon him by his enemies. Nemo desperately wanted to cause his enemies irreparable harm so he formulated a plan that would allow him to serve up delicious rancid meat to his former captors. Born from the anguish of Nemo’s childhood, Nemo’s Fish Fry is now open on the shores of Sydney, for a limited time only!

Pharaoh Imhotep's Sanitary Wipes

Andrew Lazzara

Pharaoh Imhotep is back in action after a quick 3000 year nap. He saw no need for his paper wrappings that kept him together for the past three millenniums. So, with all of his excess wrappings and wanting to make a few bucks, it only made sense to sell them as wipes. *The Fiction Relocation project cannot guarantee the proper sanitation of such wipes or the lack there of.

Full Moon Formalwere

Eric Small

Who's that finely dressed man... that's turning into... a... wolf? That's right, the werewolves are lookin' good. With all the time they spend out on the town at night, it makes perfect sense that they'd start their own line of fashionable formal wear.

Grimes Gunshop

Joe Butera

Enough was enough, Rick knew he had to do something. Running into town was not cutting it anymore — supplies were getting dry, and taking the risk of getting bit was always on their mind. Rick wanted to keep everything inhouse so what else to do then to open up his own gun store. “Grimes Gunshop now open! Zombies Keep Out”

Tommy Pickles, PhD.

Andrew Lazzara

After years of counseling his dearest friends through their experiences with meanies, Tommy Pickles wanted to make things official and open up his own practice. Common fixes for his client's woes include longer nap-times, warm milk, and the good old-fashioned pep talk.

The Man In Black's Fire Safety Devices

Jacob Buchholz

If you think your brother or sister gets on your nerves now, try fighting with them for a solid couple hundred years. Sick and tired of all the senseless bickering, The Man In Black left The Island to start his own company. He figured that his natural smokiness would lend itself well to testing his fire prevention products.

T.A.R.D.I.S. Time and Space Tours

Eric Small

A lot of people are willing to pay a pretty penny to see the universe first-hand. Even more so to see those places in other times. Dr. Who can give you that chance. So come and take a ride. The T.A.R.D.I.S. may not look like much, but it's bigger on the inside.

Schroeder Records

Joe Butera

After countless years of christmas musicals, plays, and school concerts Schroeder grew bored of his classical ways. With new aspirations in mind, Schroeder set out to the Golden State — to help other musicians make their dream come true.

Agent K Pest Extermination Services

Andrew Lazzara

"After countless, selfless years as an MIB agent, Agent K has decided to trade his Tri Barrel Plasma Gun for a some ant traps. K's passion and experience in celestial relocation fueled his choice to begin his new life in rodent extermination. To those of you wondering…yes, he still wears his suit on the job."

Waldo: Missing Persons Investigator

Eric Small

Waldo has always been good at evading detection. He knows how to blend in with his surroundings, find good hiding places, and leave a false trail. These skills now aid him in finding other missing individuals. What it really comes down to is; you don't find Waldo, Waldo finds you.

Woodys Saloon

Joe Butera

Andy was growing up fast. College, a new girlfriend and parties left Woody missing his old pal. So the cowboy found a way to reconnect with Andy through opening a saloon and slinging a few drinks.

Kevin Malone's Fitness Studio

Andrew Lazzara

That's right. Kevin Malone is in a bit of a financial rut. In an effort to pull in some fast cash, he opened up a fitness studio in the warehouse of Dunder Mifflin Scranton. He accepts payment in M&Ms, chili, and cash. Note: All equipment is made up of cardboard, paper products, or a combination of the two.

Stark Snow Removal

Eric Small

"Warden of the North" was a heavy title for Ned Stark, so he put his sword away, picked up a shovel, and decided to help his countrymen prepare for the imminent snow... Because "Winter is Coming"

Poppins Outerware

Joe Butera

Jane and Michael Banks took their toll on Mrs. Poppins. Quite frankly, she had stepped on the last rogue lego. In an abrupt ascent through the clouds during their nap, she fled town to start her own venture. A venture that didn't include drool, diapers, or damn kids.

Ron Swanson's Steak Emporium

Andrew Lazzara

After Ron prompted a furlough on his own department, he knew what he had to do. He realized that he had to find a replacement for his one and only true love, Mulligan's. Unable to find such an establishment, Ron had no choice but to open Ron Swanson's Steak Emporium. The two items on the menu are "Bacon Wrapped Steak" and "Steak Wrapped Bacon".

International Diamond Miner's Union: Dwarven Local #7

Eric Small

Working conditions weren’t always the best under the evil queen… poor ventilation, few breaks, and the living space was tight. Enough was enough, the dwarves unionized, and now they can whistle, and get health insurance, while they work.

Sasquatch Surfshop

Joe Butera

Stalking through the woods all the time, avoiding detection by curious eyes can be exhausting work, that's why Sasquatch decided to trade the pines for the beach and spend his weekends hanging a hairy ten.

Dons Old Fashioned Distillery

Andrew Lazzara

With Betty at home and the children to their studies, what’s Don to do with his spare time? Distraught, he decided to drop the Lucky Strikes and put aside his affairs to start up his own distillery. What, did you really think the drinks in his office were props? Two words: product placement.

Stuntmansam

Eric Small

When he's not being a national icon or pointing his finger at you, Uncle Sam picks up side jobs in the entertainment industry. Motorcycles, flaming hoops, and death defying stunts are all in a day's work for this adrenaline junkie.

Bunyan Woodshop

Joe Butera

Babe the big blue ox eats a lot. So much so that Mr. Bunyan couldn't make ends meet on lumberjacking alone. Paul needed a second job. Of the options available, we're glad that he chose "Bunyan WoodShop" over "Paul's Blue Ox Steaks."

Johnny Appleseed

Andrew Lazzara

When Johnny made his move south from Potomac down to Citrus County he realized his apples had no place there. What's a guy to do with only a pan and some apple seeds? Sell the pan, buy some seeds, and start from scratch.

Frank's Franks

Eric Small

When he isn’t terrifying unsuspecting villagers, Frankenstein’s monster likes to practice his culinary prowess. Now, we won’t say that his gourmet hot dogs don’t taste like they might contain some… less than kosher ingredients, but hey, a monster can have dreams too.